The Parable of Fat Worm
Whosoever hath ears to hear, let him hear the parable of Fat Worm.
Behold, there dwelt a man, who kept in his house a small creature, a cat of curious and greedy nature. Among the many toys which the man possessed for his cat, there was one which the cat desired above all others, whose name was Fat Worm.
Now Fat Worm was no common toy, but rather had a body of many colors and surpassing softness, and it held a power over the cat which no other toy could match. The man would often dangle Fat Worm for the cat, whose heart burned with desire for Fat Worm.
And the man would often engage in contests with the cat for possession of Fat Worm. And the man said unto himself, “Surely I shall defeat this small cat in contest, for I am mightier in all ways than this little one. Indeed, my arms are stronger, my mind is keener, and my thumbs are more opposable, the better for grasping Fat Worm.”
But lo, in each contest it came to pass that Fat Worm would always fall into the mouth of the cat. And the man was astonished, and thought to himself, “How does this come to pass? For I am stronger of limb, keener of mind, and greater in size than this humble beast! Yet in each contest, Fat Worm eludes me, and falls into the greedy mouth of the cat!”
And seeing the man’s bewilderment, the LORD spoke thus unto him:
“Dost thou see how the least of my creatures conquereth thee? Not by strength of arm, nor wisdom, nor even the versatility of thumbs is victory won, but by the strength of its desire doth the cat master thee, and takes Fat Worm as its prize.
Though thou art stronger of limb, thou dost not desire Fat Worm as doth the cat. For thou, being man, hast manifold aims, and thy mind is split among them, but the spirit of the cat is consumed by desire for Fat Worm.
By night it dreameth of Fat Worm, by day it plotteth how it might seize Fat Worm. Indeed, even while thou sleepest doth the cat keep vigil by the bathroom door, where thou concealest Fat Worm. Thus doth it come to pass that the cat defeateth thee.”
And the man pondered these words, and saw the truth in them.
Originally written as a Latin composition exercise, in the style of the Vulgate Bible.
The biblical framing really amplifies the absurdity of losing to a cat over a toy. But that line about desire being split among manifold aims vs singular focus is legit wisdom wrapped in humor. Reminds me how often we lose battles not bc we lack capability but just because we dont want it badly enoughcompared to whatever we're up against.
Not sure if you were joking, but I'd love to see the original Latin